Selina Xu

Dec 31 starts languorously. I wake up from a dream at 7:30am, fall back into sleep, then open my eyes again, and it’s suddenly 11:45am. I spend an inordinate amount of time perusing Uber Eats and end up ordering bibimbap.

While shoveling rice into my mouth at 1pm, I consider the state of my new year resolutions from back in January. I’d written them in a fit of inspiration on a notebook, then never looked at the page ever again. It takes me a while to unearth a photo of the page. A big circle, divided into slices under headers like “Travel/Leisure,” “Romance,” “Health/Body,” “Personal Growth,” “Career.” Turns out, I’ve kept some resolutions (Travel), completely missed others (Career), and overshot in some categories (Romance).

2024 is hard to review. Unlike 2023, there was no move across continents, job change, major highs and lows, angry insurgency, patience amid tribulation, or profound self-reckoning. And unlike 2022 or years prior, there was no clear marker of time (semesters) or milestone (internships, graduation) provided by the scaffold of college. 2024 has been blessed by calm, more continuation than paradigm shift, more meadowlands than mountain ridges.

Still, this year was momentous in quiet ways, unfolding unexpectedly. I started dating a boy, fell in love, and am still happily, wondrously—sometimes also dramatically, tearfully—learning more about myself, him, and us with each new day. I wrote and read way more than last year. I continued to travel, taste, and see more of the world (favorite place this year: Dunhuang). I met lots of interesting people, had electrifying conversations, consumed great art (favorite new musical: Sunset Boulevard; favorite musical rewatch: Les Misérables; favorite concert: Joe Hisaishi; favorite films: Poor Things and Chang An), learned new ideas, and opened my mind to vaster possibilities. I exercised more regularly than I ever had (thanks to hiking, weights, and ClassPass!). I finally committed myself to a personal goal and poured myself into the endeavor in the final months, which brought me fulfillment and excitement. I think back to this time last year: I am, surprisingly, happier. Maybe that’s what I’m most grateful for: I’ve grown happier with each year.

I am grateful for a year that was relatively devoid of hardships, failures, and injury. Flip side of the coin: there was less striving and my goals felt more amorphous—ambition still a work in progress. I idled more than I probably should, and on some days was far too lazy. But reflecting on the whole year as I’m writing this post, I realize some revelations take time to crystalize. I’m fortified with more clarity and focus, heading into 2025.

Tonight we’ll party. Across the globe, many of my friends and family have already flipped to a new year on their calendars. The clock’s second hand will make a circle, striking midnight. Over the Hudson, fireworks will light up the night sky. And I’ll murmur a little prayer of thanks. Thank you God, for all you’ve taught and given me this year, for your love, blessings, and wisdom. Thank you to my parents for growing alongside me, even when we’re oceans apart, for making me feel like the luckiest child in the world—I hope I get to spend more time with you in 2025. Thank you Arthur for being you, for inspiring me, for teaching me how to love and be loved. Thank you to each of my friends for being a part of my 2024; people come and go, and I’m incredibly thankful for the journeys we share together. And to you, my dear reader, thank you always for reading. ❤️

Happy New Year!!!

Lots of love,
Sel xoxo